for the first time, i am lost on words
What does it mean to recognise each other in the exact second of being within line of sight, across the road?
At that second, all the nerves fell from my shoulders. I stifled a laughter, and my belly vibrated, and you probably saw me grinning as I tried to hold onto my waist.
It was the most "there you are!" moment I know, "you're exactly how I remember you, but older and wiser". In gesture, in sight.
That night, I saw both the sea and sky of lights. Listened to your stories. Laughed at the things you said so flatly. Words got caught in between my teeth, under my tongue. I only wanted to hear you speak. Ramble. But when silence washed over us, I rested in my seat.
Was it exhaustion? Or was it comfort?
Only with you, I could sit in the passenger seat without worry for my safety.
When the traffic light turned red, and you animatedly pointed at one of your haunts, a giggle bubbled up in my stomach again. When you spoke fondly of how you got to meet your old friends, a smile had already carved its way on my face. The illumination outside celebrated Merry Christmas, but it would forever be cemented in my memory as your vibrance. How is it that you don't know?
You remember the most absurd things I said. Even things you wouldn't have a visual reference for. What am I, a medium through which you see the world?
You said you hadn't been at the place you brought me to, surrounded by palms and trees, and the mountainous lights. I don't remember how we agreed to go there. Why did we go there? I stole glances. I noticed your new shoes. You still walk the same.
We talked about a group of a students from a university when they were surrounding us. I didn't even think for that moment, that they would bother with our conversation. And maybe they didn't hear us, none of them interrupted us. Just that you got their university name wrong, so it would have been hilarious if they corrected you.
You are so silly. But I am the silliest.
All I could muster when I lingered at the door was "goodnight".
Your smile cemented in my memory. I had hoped it would be enough to last me a lifetime.