I have a good memory, therefore I should have been a well-achieving student
And the fact is, I wasn't.
I am proof that memorisation isn't the sole skill related to learning.
In my own experience, the reason behind it could be summed up as just "I was always driven by my emotions and instability", as per reports made by multiple teachers throughout my lifetime. Except for when I was abroad, where confidence, input and insights were taken into consideration, and I was observed more for my interests, rather than my performance.
I was ordering my parents coffee, when I typed out my card number and details (because I refuse to let my phone save it, security reasons). My dad looked at my screen, impressed that I could do that without referring or checking my numbers.
Perhaps I am old-fashioned. It isn't because I don't have any of the important contacts saved in my phone, it is so that in case I do lose my phone, then I'll always have a backup and that is my brain. Even for short-term numbers that are required as OTPs, or transaction verification, my brain has learned how to compartmentalise those so they don't last as long as the rest.
However, there is a downside to strong memory. For a lot of people in my time, memorisation was always the core focus point when it came to learning, and it is because the people of my parents' era and upwards learned that the ability to remember sequences such as questions and answers would help them with the examinations. However, that was not the case when it came to my time. Due to the difference between our education systems and era, I was thrown into the age where application questions became more widely used.
That said, I was memorising without the space to understand the answers. The sequence of words that were provided to me, particularly those in the Sciences, were like an alien language, devoid of meaning that I could comprehend.
As such, I admit, I was not a well-achieving student.
However, I knew I excelled in the studies of humanities. Exploring ideas, questioning and absorbing perspectives, as well as to write and using my imagination (further supported by my innate ability for strong visualisations), were things that made me feel like I "belonged" somewhere. If a space allowed for me to speak my mind, I felt at home. If it required me to solve problems, having only one or two solutions, I felt limited.
Even outside of school, my strong memory would always be a double-edged sword.
I remember the exact words and feelings somebody said to me. I remember the weather outside when that happened. I remember the room that I was in when certain events happened. They don't (often) require a trigger for me to visualise myself in the situation. I can remember most quotes word by word, if not by phrase.
But because the only document is stored in my head, these are not necessarily plausible evidence, should I need them. Because I would always want to protect others before myself, I will erase the visible documentation of these things.
This is why remembrance and curiosity are the sweetest, most considerate things people can do for me.
And after three decades of this life, I decided that to learn is to love, and to love is to learn.