Ramadhan Mubarak!
Ramadhan Mubarak to all!
There is much to consider about this month of spirituality, especially in regards to how I am moving forward with my life, now that I am 31 and more.
I remember my very first Ramadhan as a cogent child. I started fasting when I was 6 and as a kid I started with half-days. Of course they didn't spiritually count as a day of fasting, but I was happy to be able to participate. I think there had to be some virtue in at least these "attempts".
The first time I mourned being unable to fast was four years ago when I was recovering from my laparoscopic surgery, with my bouts of anaemia and vertigo. It would have been the first time that I was considered "pure enough to fast the full month" (meaning I would not have experienced my menses, which is considered as a condition for not fasting), and I was excited by the prospect. But I couldn't, due to my health condition and still being in a state of recovery.
At the end of it, I couldn't fast the full month.
I remember vaguely having a conversation with someone who couldn't understand why I would want to "push myself", for the sake of some religious rituals (understand that said person wasn't religious). I always found that fasting gave me the clarity of mind. I found myself more productive in terms of writing during days and months I was fasting, and I simply found fasting to be the quickest way to cleanse my stomach of any irritation. Sure, there were occasions of light-headedness with my iron deficiency, but none too aggravating (save for when I was recovering from my surgery, that was another matter completely).
It doesn't take away the fact that I am also a foodie. I enjoy the concept of food having histories and cultural origins, and not just for sustenance. I enjoy the very fact that food became adapted for certain areas it has been brought into, and perhaps purists (I have been guilty of this before) would consider food to be "bastardised" when the ingredients aren't "ethnic" or "original", I found it to be our human attempts to still replicate the same flavours, though occasionally we do fail.
And that's the thing with being human. We fail. We strive. We challenge ourselves. And that challenge is also how I've begun to see fasting.