rape culture is powerful here
On October 11th this year, Malaysians gathered to dismantle the rape culture that persists in Malaysia. The social media response is as you would expect, a lot of cismen in Malaysia and burner accounts saying the following:
what do you mean 'rape culture'? It's a social problem, not a culture. meanwhile half of you yelling against rape while dressed for it but you're ok with punk? isn't that pro-rape and free sex?
Yeah, I was livid.
On top of this, recently there was an alleged news report of a woman who didn't want to enter an elevator with a man. To prevent this, she said "you could be a rapist, so no", and his response was "you're not that attractive anyway", to which the comments echoed.
Not far down from this news, an alleged rapist was reported to be freed from rape accusations, although not necessarily given the non-guilty verdict. He is only freed because the prosecution failed to make a prima facie case. In Malaysia, however, the prima facie lacks uniformity. According to a blog run by a Malaysian duo with specialty in Law,
... instead of "the accused is probably guilty", the criminal prima facie standard is now as good as "the accused is guilty beyond a doubt" since a conviction can only be warranted when an accused person's guilt is beyond reasonable doubt (i.e. after a maximum evaluation of evidence).
The judge also took the court as an opportunity to advise the accused to not misuse his popularity (in the religious niche), which implies that the accused is guilty, but only that the evidence failed to secure the rightful verdict.
When putting all of these non-isolated cases together, one can gather that the rape culture in this country is unfortunately prevalent and powerful.
I have realised recently that this struck deep with me not only because I've been a victim of sexual and domestic violence, but because I spent my entire life rape-proofing myself.
I have had the privilege of living independently, and for the most part, in solitude. To protect myself from not only rape, but potential violence, stalking or being marked as a potential victim, I have had to denounce myself from some aspects of femininity. I also recall that in one of my first driving classes had an instructor who said she would occasionally not wear the hijab, but stuff her hair inside a ball cap to have a masculine silhouette for when she drives alone. The lesson stuck with me, to the point that I would study most women's preference when it comes to cars, and decided that I wouldn't want to drive them. Here at least, hatchbacks are generally the economic choices, but they are also preferred by women for ease and lightness. As a result, my family only has cars with sports-like silhouette and shapes or a family MPV. Where most of my female friends would have fruits or cute cushions to decorate their cars, I elected for gender-neutral puns instead.
None of these have helped prevent the sexual violence I ended up experiencing (from people I trusted not to incur them prior), but it did, at least, help me from being marked as a potential victim by strangers.
I roll my eyes or glare at them when men give me unsolicited comments or greetings, my keys are heavy with keychains and sharp edges and my car is equipped with a metal bat-shaped steering key. Since mid-2010s, I haven't had the chance of calling myself a "passenger princess", not because no one would drive me, but because I have rarely felt safe when someone else took the wheel. One such sexual violence events I experienced happened in my own car.
In short, rape could possibly happen to me because of anyone, and anytime. Therefore I place much less blame on the women who must have thought "you could be a rapist" to any men they have met, and I place much less blame on them for when they fear for their safety entering an elevator with a man.
I will always blame the men who respond with a comment related to attraction, even if linguistically it carries far less heft. Culturally, however, it doesn't.
Because a lot of those socialised as women know that means they "would have" if the victim were "attractive enough", or if the situation enabled them just enough to do it.