to exist in this space, in my experience
For those who have followed me for years on Twitter and Bluesky, this is something I've spoken about multiple times: the racist expectations placed on the BIPOC internet user, especially someone who presents as feminine on the gender spectrum.
Yeah, I know. The exact response I expect as I'm writing this is "Really? Again, chou? I thought you were over this."
Why are we here again?
It sparked as I was reading the first of a Middle Eastern fantasy series of books that was recommended by a couple of readers online. It's always quite interesting, really, how the Middle Eastern fantasy is sold as a "fantasy", as a land filled with mystics and magic. (I am writing a piece on orientalism as well, but I feel like I needed to get this one out of the way first, if just to express my frustrations and obtain some clarity of mind) It was a bore to me, written with such technical knowledge of how the magic in its realm is performed, and I had to put it down at 4% progress. If I'm to be honest, it is tempting to simply take the entire book out of my Kobo, but I'm going to just give it a rest and read something else.
I looked up the author, and found that she is a white woman who was an army officer. How interesting!
"Couldn't you have researched before you read the book?" I could have, but see, that would take the fun out of discovering things like this. I find it quite interesting only because there are no information on whether or not she has lived in the Middle East, or South Asia, or elsewhere really. Often, artists of Caucasian descent raised in missionary or expatriate families have at least experienced the environments of the rest of the world, and though often they return home with privilege, they also obtain experience - intimate enough to inform their artistry, no matter how it is used to depict the people they've met from the rest of the world.
And on Goodreads, her book has been rated higher than most of the Middle Eastern fantasy books written by authors whose names include indications of originating from SWANA (Southwest Asia and North Africa). I believe there are many factors as to why this is the case: resources, readers preferring language organisation of people more familiar with their own education background, racial profiling (whether we admit to it, or notice it at all), and such. I will not say it is purely out of racism that this does happen. Hafsah Faizal is one of the more well-known Middle Eastern fantasy authors out there and even she is averaging lower than the author of the book I'm reading, but I am not comparing them as individual authors. It is likely because Faizal has a larger library than the other author does, but that is besides the case.
It further proves that regardless of circumstances, there are higher expectations and standards placed on a BIPOC author or personality online, especially a woman. And that's just speaking statistically, of women whose creative works are being seen and rated.
My personal, curated experience of racism
If just going off of my experience, people have tried to discredit me, simply because of arbitrary reasons.
I wasn't always the one to point a finger and say "you are racist for (insert reasons)", rather, I've been more the sort to criticise the kind of information that is being disseminated. One such phenomenon is called orientalism, that is fervent in the creative space (particularly FFXIV and roleplay scenes) by the depiction of dancer femme fatales, who are charming, street-wise, had no other way to survive but through enthralling others with their bodies, while being conveniently set in a backdrop of the desert, with a touch of slavery and merchantry, and having SWANA/MENA-associated names. Meet Jasmin, Amina, Anaria, Zariya... all of whom know how to dance, know how to enchant men they encounter with lovely dark skin and striking features, armed with bright, yet sheer outfits that cover only the peaks of their breasts.
I admit that my description is an intentional bastardisation of the depictions, because certainly, there are more than meets the eye (this is also, often, emphasised in their background stories, as if it isn't a given when it comes to female characters, which adds to the misogyny of it all and my own, clearly). Therefore, I am keeping that discussion for another post, which is why I needed to get this frustration out of my system first.
For having made comments and critiques against orientalist depictions especially when many choices are present, I have seen the most lovely anonymous comment made about me.
Though it may appear to look like an isolated case, and that I'm harping on just one, anonymous comment of dubious origin-it is important to understand I have been online for two decades of my life. I know enough to notice when I am being purposely misunderstood, my words misconstrued and higher standards are placed on my knowledge, in order to discredit me, and taint my reputation.
I have never been someone of considerable profile online. I only existed in forums, niche communities such as panfandom roleplays, and at most, 500+ subscribers on Youtube for my singing and very sparse livestreaming.
Which is why it is always surprising to me to receive any criticism that people cannot tell me directly. Perhaps it is because I am unsafe to speak to, perhaps it is somebody who has felt terribly slighted by my existence, and that's a given.
How does this connect with other feminine BIPOCs?
From my observation and experience, I find that this treatment is prevalent for BIPOCs choose to present themselves as feminine are often treated with disdain for ever speaking up against something. Especially when it involves the ego or reputation of someone who is of Caucasian descent, or in proximity with American narratives.
You don't need to have a platform or to be well-known, but the second you speak up, you are treated as though you tried to push for an agenda: to misinform, to push for hate, to be an aggressor. If you do not fall in line and accept the narratives for what is (which we are very fluent in, considering how deep the roots of colonialism and its perpetuating for silence runs in our given communities), then it is simply because you are evil.
However, when comparing this to how praised the author I was reading and got bored of, it's clear where alignments fall.
I am writing this not because I expect immediate change, nor is there a particular course of action for those who read this. Chances are, my readers are my friends who already know what this is for.
All I ever wanted was some consideration, and to be met with curiosity, and I think everyone could benefit from that regardless of their origin, or cultural background. Questions like "how did you know that?" or "where did that knowledge/insight come from?", as opposed to asking for the validation of "my character/story is (traits or concepts from BIPOC communities), is that okay?" would go a long way.
I also leave this post with the knowledge that orientalism is far bigger than I have made it out to be in this post. Orientalism is a lot more prevalent, to the point that many budding writers and creators are swept along by its influences, but that is why approaching with curiosity will open up our perspectives.